The human condition is the challenge of being who we are
This human condition results from the discrepancy between who we think are and who we need to be. This is what shapes human behavior.
Natural selection drives us to breed with the best available mates, so we present ourselves in the best possible light to improve our mating chances (one of the opposing forces of the human condition)
We tend to perceive ourselves negatively (we are fundamentally insecure) because we are learning animals, and the best way to learn in a hostile environment is CAUTIOUSLY; we should under- not over-estimate our capabilities (the other opposing force of the human condition)
Humans have thus evolved with a fundamental conflict between our negative perceptions of ourselves and the urge to present ourselves positively to the rest of the world so as to better compete for mates
To deal with our inner conflict we subconsciously create a facade, a mask that conceals our perceived inadequacies, thus allowing us to compete in the mating game.
Dealing with this inner conflict is complicated by our imperfect mental processes. The world is too detailed for our senses to capture more than a fraction of it, and so complex that our minds can only guess at its workings.
Our minds can only provide us with imperfect perceptions, analyses and memories of the world around us. We do not see the world as it really is.
To be able to operate effectively in the world we create a simplified internal model, which is full of gaps that we fill in with guesswork.
The imperfections in our internal model, the biases and errors of our interpretation of the world, allow us us to underestimate our worth, thus maintaining the discrepancy. Furthermore, our facade, the need to feel in control, prevents us from acknowledging to ourselves these flawed perceptions.
The tension between our self-image, and the image we want to present to the outside world, drives many aspects of our culture
The Fear aspect of the human condition
The human condition is defined by two conflicting drives, two particular sets of instructions that have been instilled into us by natural selection: our insecurity, and our need to conceal that insecurity, even from ourselves. The interaction of these drives shapes much of human behavior.
In our harsh ancestral environment we needed an edge to survive, and that edge was our ability to innovate, which allowed us to develop new survival strategies overnight, not over the many generations that it took other animals. We needed intelligence to develop these strategies, but we also needed our insecurity, our fear of the future, to motivate us to work out those strategies in advance (and to be very careful while we were experimenting). Our natural fear is the motivating force behind our intelligence, indeed the argument can be made that the characteristic that made humans the dominant species on the planet was not our brains, or our opposable thumbs, but our insecurity.
Just as our insecurity has driven us as a species, it has also driven us as individuals, confidence leads to complacency, but insecurity motivates us to succeed (people are more likely to start bodybuilding if they feel weak, rather than strong), and that success causes the insecurity genes to spread throughout the population through the action of natural selection. We feel insecure in four main areas: Self, Authority, Faction, Environment (S.A.F.E.).
SELF INSECURITY
How good are our skills and abilities (climbing hills, identifying food, fighting rivals, and so on)? Our Self Insecurity makes us test ourselves to identify our personal strengths and weaknesses (through sports, cooking, exams, bar fights, and so on), and then take actions to improve ourselves (getting fitter, getting educated, developing life skills).
AUTHORITY INSECURITY
How safe is our position in the tribe? Our Authority Insecurity makes us test our status by interacting socially (going to parties, making passes at people, and so on), and then drives us to improve it (by seeking promotions, by accumulating wealth and honors, by developing social skills, by find mentors, and so on).
FACTION INSECURITY
How strong is the tribe that we are in? We test our tribe’s strengths and weaknesses (by watching sports and other competitions, by checking our company’s share price, and so on); our powerful feelings of patriotism and team loyalty are indicators of the importance of this area. Our concern for the strength of our tribe, or tribes, drives us to find strong groups to join (friendships, teams, clubs, religions, and so on).
ENVIRONMENT INSECURITY
How well do we understand the environment around us? We try to improve our perception, and comprehension, of the world around us through science, or by discussions with others, by traveling, by reading, by seeking spiritual guidance, and so on.
The Facade aspect of the human condition
So insecurity is good for the advancement of the species and of the individual, but it is also a liability for the individual for the most important activity of their lives, convincing a high quality mate to have children with them. Potential mates have to make assumptions about the quality of prospective suitors from the limited information available to them, and one important indicator is how confident the suitor seems; a gibbering nervous wreck is not a promising life partner. When we go wooing we have to pretend to be the ultra-confident people that we very much are not, and the most effective way of maintaining that pretense is to convince ourselves that we are not insecure.
Central to the human condition, then, is the constant tension between our insecurity and our need to conceal that insecurity. This tension explains much of our behavior.
What do we mean by the “reasons” for human behavior?
Readers may look at the suggested explanations and think that that is not why they act that way. Why we do things, though, is not why we think that we do things.
We feel as if we act in a certain way because our emotions tell us to. This is only part of the explanation, though, and the less interesting part. What is more interesting is the reason that natural selection gave us those emotions that coax us to act in that particular way. That reason may not match the emotions.
For example: in the discussion on reciprocal altruism, it is suggested that many of our acts of generosity are performed because we will end up benefiting from them at some later stage, and benefitting so much that it outweighs the costs to ourselves (in time, effort, resources or whatever) in the initial act of generosity; what seems like pure selflessness has selfishness at its heart. This does not necessarily mean that, before giving someone a lift, we consider whether they will later return the favor; we might just feel sympathy for them and want to help them with no thought to the future. That feeling of sympathy, though, has evolved in us because, generally speaking, on average, people have ended up benefitting from acts that the emotion of sympathy encourages. Emotions then are just the levers that natural selection pulls it get us to behave in ways that further its goals (surviving, procreating and helping our kin). The difficulty for us is that we can see the levers, but we cannot see the goals.
A consequence of this disconnect between the actions driven by our emotions and natural selection’s underlying goals is that the reasons for our behavior may not be appropriate in some situations (which does not mean that they are not the root causes). For example, in the discussion on reputational altruism it is speculated that we are sometimes generous because being so will benefit our reputation. In particular it will make us seem like we will be good parents, and thus is a consequence of Procreation Selection (Caring). This type of generosity is built into us and does not go away when the reason for its existence is no longer there, so we are still kindly even when old and with no thought to finding a new mate and starting a family.
It must also be acknowledged here that we are generally very bad at knowing why we act in specific ways. We often do not know why we do something, while it is happening, and, even after the event, when we look back on our actions, we are prone to all of the many biases and distortions in our memory and analysis discussed in The Maps Of Why, foremost of which is the way that we tend to tailor our personal narrative (our Facade) so that it describes a version of ourselves that we like.